Today I wanted to share a little bit of my history with ya’ll, so sit back, grab a drink, and relax while I tell you a story about my life. I want to share a little bit about the past few years and what I have been going through.
I have mentioned to ya’ll before that I have Thyroid disease and have been battling Cancer as well, but I wanted to go even deeper into what it has been like for me and the family. You can read about some of it in the "pages" section of this blog or here or even here.
Most of my youngest child’s life has been spent with a sick mama, she has really never known me as a healthy person. When she was a little baby I started to get sick, in fact so sick I could hardly get out of bed. So it was very difficult for me to do what needed to be done while my hubby was out making money to support all six of us. As a SAHM I was responsible for the running of the household and raising of the chitlens...Um kids for those who don’t know what chitlens are.
My day to day activities were the normal things a mama does but for me they were next to impossible to do, because I just did not have the required energy to do them well. Just imagine doing all that needs to be done for 4 small children and the running of the household with little to no energy to do them. That was my life. Skip ahead to the last few years...The children are all bigger and semi-independent. Think 3 teen boys and 1 pre-teen girl. Got it, good!
The last few years have been easier for me because the kids are bigger and they are used to having to do some things for themselves. Some of those things are, cooking, cleaning, finding rides to activities, and having to take care of things around the house so mom could rest…etc...Although this is good, I have struggled with feelings of failure as a mother. Around my house, everyone knows if you mess it up, clean it up, because mom does not have the energy to do it herself.
I’m getting a little bit off topic, so I will re-direct myself now. My Thyroid disease definitely got worse the last couple of years, which presented me with the option of visiting a surgeon for removal of the Thyroid. Then fast-forward to surgery day...Imagine it, it’s the day before Halloween, and I am getting ready to go into surgery with a doctor named Dr. Fear! Dum, da, dum, dum, dum… Yeah, I was a little nervous, to say the least.
He was a wonderful doctor and did an amazing job; you can barely see my scar, which lies neatly tucked into a natural crease at the bottom of my neck. Although a week later I found out that I did indeed have Cancer and would need treatment, now that had to be one of the scariest moments of my life. I thought I had prepared myself to hear those words but until it happens to you, nothing really prepares you for cancer. All sorts of thoughts went through my mind, like will I live to see my children graduate school and get married and have my grandbabies, will I get to grow old with my wonderful and amazing husband? Thankfully the answer is yes!
This last year or two has been about treatment, isolation, sickness, grief and a myriad of other emotions, but I have also grown tremendously because of it all. It is amazing what God can do with a person during times of deeply painful experiences. I am amazed still at what God has brought me through and how He continues to mold and shape me as a human being.
Wonderfully, I made it through treatment and my doctors and I have spent this last year getting me to a point of almost normal. Wow! I haven’t felt what normal feels like for so long I am having trouble recognizing it. My Thyroid levels are where they need to be and stay, and I am getting my energy back. I have started to exercise and eat better, which means I am learning what a serving size actually looks like, and that I have to intentionally get out and exercise. What a concept! Blogging has been part of my recuperation process, it has helped me to get out there and meet other people, some who have been through worse than me, and it has opened up my world, ever so immensely. Thanks be to God, I am in complete remission and I plan to do everything in my power to stay that way.
Sorry for the long post, but I really wanted to share what my life has been like with cancer in the middle of it. If anyone reading this can relate, I’d love to hear your story, so drop me a comment, or email me if you’d like, and thanks a MILLION to all of you who have so generously given me your friendship, I will cherish it always!