LOL

HAHAHAHAHAH!

I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I feel it not. I believe in God even when He is silent. *Written on a wall in a concentration camp*

Maxine humor~love it!

My Weary Weekend!

I was sick this last weekend, yay me! This pretty much sums up how totally wonderful I felt.

You know how it feels when you just feel...blech?  Well that is pretty much how I felt all weekend.  I did fold some laundry on Sunday, but other than that I was in or on my bed the whole excruciatingly freaking time.

Ladies, you all know how it is when you are sick...the kids seem to get a little more wild and crazy rambunctious and the house seems to get messy all on it's own, kinda like this..

Yup that pretty much sums it up!  Although I have to say the hubby did a great job taking care of things around here, I mean he cooked and got the kids to do some cleaning and even some outside work...Go Hubby! I am especially blessed to have this guy, he's a keeper...and he took great care of me and the kids this last weekend so he deserves some applause...

I also missed Church on Sunday, which is a bummer because well, obviously I missed out on a great sermon, no doubt, but also my son played in the Worship band again.  Well at least I will get to be there on Easter Sunday when he will be playing again.  Woohoo!

Okay, that is pretty much the whole She-bang for me...so now would you please leave me a comment or two as I absoluely love to hear what you have to say! God bless and May His face shine upon you today and beyond!

~Sunday Funnies~

As usual there is no post on Sunday...So may you fare well in your endeavors tomorrow and I shall promise to return to you on Monday, Monday!

~Dog Humor~

This was just so cute, I had to share it!

Where is God?

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.


The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.


The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".


They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"


The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"


The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"

Palm Sunday!

                                   

It was Palm Sunday but

because of a sore throat, 5 year old Craig stayed home from church with a babysitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds.

Craig inquired as to what they were for.

'People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by,' his father responded.

'Wouldn't you just know it?' Craig complained, 'the one Sunday I don't go and he shows up.'

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMP THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!

What's getting done around here?

So here I sit drinking my coffee and extremely delicious chocolate breakfast drink, and I am thinking I need to share something from me personally..on how my week is going so far! 

For one thing I have noticed that since I started seriously devoting way to much time to dabble in blogging I have noticed that certain things have really fallen by the wayside. 

 For instance, I can't remember the last time I dusted the furniture, or mopped the floors, let alone thoroughly scrubbed the disgustingly smelly boys bathroom or changed the furnace filter. 

 Do any of you lady or gentlemen bloggers have the same situation as mine?  Come on...be honest when was the last time you took care of those cobwebs in the corner of your living room, bedroom, hallway...ceiling?  Ya, that is exactly what I thought!

Much to everyone's delight...no that's not it..let me think here Everyone here in the King household loves that I have found something to make me happy and that I can share with others at the same time.  That said, things/people/animals have gotten neglected at one time or another...I will be working on that starting now...I mean when I get done with this one last post! (Insert giggling here) Oh and by the way this is my 50th post woohoo!

Unusual buriel

A recently ordained priest, Father Henry, was to hold his first ever graveside burial service at a pauper's cemetery for an destitute man with no family or friends.

Father Henry, not knowing where the cemetery was, made several wrong turns and got lost.


He eventually arrived an hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, the spade was next to the open hole, and the workmen were sitting under a tree eating lunch.


Father Henry, being a reliable young priest went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Feeling guilty because of his lateness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in considerable style.


As the good Father returned to his car, he overheard one of the workman say to the other, ' Do you know, fancy that, I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty five years and I ain't never seen anything like that.'

Some clever and amusing thoughts on being a Christian!

Under same management for over 2,000 years.

Soul food served here.

Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk.

You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.

Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!

Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church.

We should be more concerned with the Rock Of Ages, instead of the age of rock.

Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case!

Come early for a good seat in the back.

Life has many choices, Eternity has two. What's yours?

The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.

A man's character is like a fence. It cannot be strengthened by whitewash.

Ring a bell!

So, I am just earnestly workingaway sitting here and wondering what I (little ole me) can share that will make you smile or else might make you smile and this is what I brilliantly came up with! 

Father John is walking down the street one day when he notices Nathan, a very small boy, trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Nathan is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, Father John moves closer to Nathan's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to Nathan's level, Father John smiles benevolently and asks, 'And now what, my little man?'


To which Nathan replies with a beaming grin, 'Now we run!'

Snipets of my Weekend!

These are the pens Mollyanna and I made this past Sunday...we took bic pens, silk flowers, floral tape, and satin ribbons...and voila~these beauties...fun to make and useful as well...great to give away as gifts! (We gave two away to friends)

This is my bed this morning...not yet made because I am on my blog posting...I know you lady bloggers know what I am saying here! Can I get a witness?

This is my coffee and Breakfast...Yes it is Slimfast! I told you ladies I was going to eat better (er..umm..drink) and exercise more (that would be the flower making, right) so this is my breakfast, yummmy!

These are my hubby's shotglasses...do any of you women have husbands that collect these tiny pieces of crap beautiful glasses?  They are something he (hubbs) has been hoarding collecting for a very long time, and a source of constant irritation to me joy to him, so I don't really have a problem with it! Okay moving on...

This is just what I would like to do to my hair on one of my many few bad hair days! So true, right, ladies! I mean this is high fashion in the dog world..er..um...I think.  I could always ask my babies dogs Annie and Weenie, and get their opinions...what, like you don't talk to your dogs/cats/birds...pick one! 

These are the lovely organic soaps I found for $.99 cents a piece...at my local Farmers Market, on Sunday, while shopping for our fruit for the week!







Well this is where I tell you God bless, happy blogging and as usual, when you are done skimming reading thoroughly leave me a comment as I love to hear what you beautiful ladies have to say!

It's Monday & March 1st

Ever have one of these "moments"? I am pretty sure I had several of "these" moments before my Hysterechtomy!


 Can I get a witness? I mean come on ladies admit it, you have all had days like this! I have to admit that sometimes I still have moments like this. (With 3 teens and 1 pre-teen, can you blame me?)

Here's hoping you all have a wonderful Monday, God bless and Happy Blogging!

Sunday Sessions!

This is my dog (baby) Annie...somehow I managed to click the button on the camera just as she was licking her chops...Obviously she had just finished eating something positively delicioso! Must have been some of my cooking, not that I am bragging or anything but hey I have to toot my horn (so to speak) or it won't get tooted! (Which probably tells you I am no gourmet chef) True, but I am one kick ass cookie maker, as long as they are chocolate chip...Have a great weekend and I will be back on Monday...as they say on Harry Potter...there's no post on Sunday. (It is the Lords day!)

Now that I think about it, I did see Annie giving this cat a good licking earlier !

Sandman where are you?

Have you ever had one of those nights where you couldn't sleep, because your mind would not shut up!  Well that is what is happening tonight.  I need to sleep but cannot, and I have to get up in about 6 hours.  For me, 8-9 hours is optimal, not 6. Grrr...So I guess I am going to blog about the night I had with my Children click this link to see my oldest.

 http://wwwkinggeorge.blogspot.com/  (He just started putting his blog together)  The picture to the right shows all of them (last summer) together. 

Tonight we had a little talk about respect and how "not" to speak to mom.  Now my kids are all wonderful children, and I will be the first to tell you that tid-bit, but they do have their moments.  Tonight was chocked full of irritating and disrespectful moments for three of them, but not for the one with the mohawk.  He was in rare form (the funny kind) tonight. That is the thing about mohawk boy (jesse), he is always making me laugh hysterically.  If I had to describe him, I would say he is what a hug feels like.  Anyhoo I am rambling...back to the point.

We had a sit down-shut-up-and listen talk, or what I like to call a lecture, on how you should and should not speak to your parents.  (Especially when "you, George" the offender are talking to someone on the phone.) Not cool!  I have worked hard to raise godly young men and a godly young girl, and then (here goes the blaming bit) the public school atmosphere goes and tromps all over my effort.  I hate that!  Now before you get all mad at me, I am not (per se) blaming the public school system...no, I am pointing fingers at the atmosphere in which my children are immersed in for 6 hours a day.  My husband and I are not rich and so we cannot afford to home school, so that is out of the question right off the bat.

This issue has led to many a discussion, and now that my High Schooler (who thinks he is much wiser than mom or dad, but is really a great kid) knows that the system is behind him and is teaching him to be independent and to think for himself, well let's just say we get into it more often than not. He knows what the Bible says about "Children obey your parents" yet he also has the conflicting thoughts the schools atmosphere puts into his sponge of a mind, that say "You are your own person"  "You don't need mom and dad"  "Don't listen to what the Bible says, it's archaic, it isn't relevent to now"  Now I know the teachers are not out there telling children to stop listening to their parents, that is not at all what I am saying. I just get frustrated at what the "world" is teaching my children while they are in school.

So since he has become a teenager we have had many a sit down-shut-up and listen, discussion, lecture or whatever you want to call it. It has also led to a plethura of good, and even funny get to know you better talks. This is true for the other teens too, they are dealing with the whole middle school syndrome and that has been interesting, if not frightening, at times.  Now my girl, she is a whole different story, she is the only girl sibling and her brothers all helped to spoil her (but not rotten)...now they are paying the price, and so are mom and dad! 


 This is a picture of her with her pal weenie dog...see below.  Her problem is that she has a hard time focusing on what mom is asking her to do...and was told tonight in no uncertain terms to stop it or else! Really there was more, but it would take to long to explain and my neck is killing me...So, that led to reading the Word of God by candle light! Very nice indeed..and of course this led to more discussion...which somehow led to questions about how to write html...but that is another story for another time...and I am off to try, again, to summon the sandman....for now I will say goodnight, God bless and keep you safe, and as always when you are finished reading please leave your comment, I love to hear what my fellow bloggers have to say.

Problem commenting?

I know some of you were having trouble posting comments..that is now fixed, I hope!  Happy commenting!


Also I thought I would throw in this funny picture of hugging dogs! Why can't we (humans) be more like this, carefree, happy, silly even? Hmm, something to think about!

Top of the morning to ya!

Good Morning everyone...I was up early (for me) 6:37 a.m. getting the kids up and ready for school, and then out of here on time. Then it was time to do a devotional and relax with God.  I love it that He (our Father) is always there to spend time with us, and just have a quiet conversation anytime we need Him.


I have spent my morning reading up on my newest favorite blogs...written by other lovely ladies with wisdom, tips, and humor to share with...me...or whoever comes along! So all in all a lovely morning it has been!


 Also this weekend was long and quiet..and somewhat peaceful...my son Jacob (wrestler boy with brown shirt on) took 4th place at the conference meet! He was awesome, of course I am biased, and rightfully so! His shiny yellow ribbon now hangs where everyone can behold it's beauty...well it's not really shiny but it is something to be proud of, right!  Well I am off to see what kind of mischeif I can get into now! May God's face shine on all who pass this way~