Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Hey Out There

Okay, so it's been awhile since I have posted anything...at all.  I have been taking some much needed time to deal with various issues, one of them being depression.   I am beginning to feel better and having less pressure sure helps. I have been spending time with the kids, going to the library, swimming, or just hanging out...it has been so nice!  It seems the more time I spend on facebook, or my blog, the more stressed I become.  Largely it is because I feel pressured to fulfill some imaginary obligation I have created in my mind.  It has nothing to do with anyone else putting pressure on me, it's all me.

I am toying with the idea of giving up this blog, but I don't want to make any quick decisions about that.  This blog was created to be an outlet for my creativity; something I could feel accomplished about.  Does that make any sense?  Maybe I am just blocked and this time away will be helpful in clearing my mind.  Maybe I have said all there is to say.  Maybe not.  I know one thing, the more time I spend away from this blog, the less I have to say...hmmm, I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing. 

I have to face facts...I get wrapped up in facebook, this blog, t.v., and I spend less time in God's presence and in His book, and with His people.  The more time I invest in other things, the less time I invest in my relationship with my Savior.  So I have started to have quiet time first thing in the morning before the kids are up...that includes prayer and devotions...It is like meeting up with a friend I haven't spoken to for awhile, unsure at first but better every time it happens. 

I guess I said all this to say...I'm here, I'm alive, I am somewhat broken and need more time, I will be back but I don't know when, and I miss you all...but something tells me ya'll are just fine and dandy.  Blessings to each and every one of you! 

I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I feel it not. I believe in God even when He is silent. *Written on a wall in a concentration camp*

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