I have had depression issues my entire life, well the years that I can remember anyway. Now mind you my life was not the peaches and cream everyone wants, but it wasn't exactly horrible either, there were good times mixed in with the bad. So to say I had/have absolutely no reason to feel blue would be a mistake, but the depression seems to come from out of the blue (no pun intended) for no real or reasonable reason...I have a Great life. I really do.
I have a Great husband and 4 wonderful children, all of whom I absolutely undeniably love...and not only do I have those people in my life I am a child of The Most High God...so why, I ask, do I get depressed, blue or melancholy?
From what I can understand there can be a lot of variables or none at all. For instance it could be hormones alone, or it could be lack of vitamin D, or sunshine as I like to call it. I miss the sun and the warmth. It could be brain chemistry that is off. Then again it could be the combination of all the above, honestly I don't rightly know. I wish I did.
Blogging helps me vent. When I write I often imagine that there will be one person who reads what I blogged about and it will touch their heart...speak to their specific situation, and they will be helped or at least validated that they are not alone...that there is someone else out there in this big wide world who is going through something similar and can relate. I know that God has used me before and I know He will use me again.
The other day, when I was running and talking to God, I asked what good am I? What have you used me for? Am I significant...and the resounding answer was yes, you my daughter are significant and I have a purpose for you, keep on going, someday you will see the bigger picture and understand fully. So I keep trudging on because I know that someday it will all be revealed to me by my Heavenly Father. I won't allow satan, the father of lies, to bring me down and whisper his evil into my heart and into my life...for now I will continue to lean on God and let Him comfort me...because I know that this too shall pass...in time.
So if you are reading this and you pray at all...say a little prayer for me tonight I'd really appreciate it...and if you can relate, let me know, I'd love to hear from you.
I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I feel it not. I believe in God even when He is silent. *Written on a wall in a concentration camp*
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