So let me tell you what I have been up to lately...Not a whole lot. That being said, it seems like I have been on a much needed vacation...of sorts. I have spent a lot of time just resting, watching movies with the kids, taking walks and riding my beloved Choncho (Beach cruiser), lol. Ya'll know how much I love my bike, right? Right! I have not really felt inspired to write much, I just feel like I am blocked, like I need this little respite/vacation.
When I was on the hcg diet I obsessed over the weight I was losing...how much and how often...Now I am obsessing over the weight that my body is gaining...just a little weight, Really, it is no big deal, but my brain cannot quit obsessing over it. I know it is perfectly normal for my body to fluctuate up and down for the first 1-3 weeks as it tries to find it's new normal, that doesn't make it any easier for someone like me. I have a problem with weight and the number on the scale, see I used to have an eating disorder...when I was a teenager, and then after my second son...14 years ago.
I don't anymore, but this whole hcg maintenance is going to drive me NUTS as my body tries to establish a new normal. I have barely gotten 1000 calories a day and still gained 1.6 lbs..largely due to my not following the rule of no added SUGAR...I love my salad dressing which happens to have a little added SUGAR in it, as well as my diet Pepsi...one of these two is causing my weight gain because it can't be the calories. It is probably my beloved salad dressing, so I will have to say goodbye to it until my 3 weeks of maintenance are up.
Yes I am done whining, sorry friends. I am getting ready to do the Relay For Life next weekend and I am a little nervous. It will be my 1st relay for cancer, and my 1st as a survivor. It is actually a little exciting, my team is doing well with their fundraising endeavors and we have made the bronze team but would like to get to the silver team. So next weekend my boys, my mom and I will spend the day walking laps, manning the car smash, and raising even more money to research and cure cancer, but first I will get to walk the survivors lap with many others just like me, I can't wait, I will probably cry...for joy!
Well, my children are setting up the tent in the backyard and I am getting antsy to move around. May you all have a wonderful weekend, full of BBQ's, fun and family and friends...blessings to you all!
I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I feel it not. I believe in God even when He is silent. *Written on a wall in a concentration camp*