This morning I was reminded of how fast life goes by. I remember when my children were born and how excited I was to be a mommy. It was like life was finally starting for me. Now as I look back, I miss those days when I was the most important person to my children. It is no longer that way...and I guess I am feeling a little nostalgic for those days.
Soon (June) my oldest will be graduating...and he will move on like he is meant to. I just want to stop time and keep the ones I love close to me. All of the sudden life seems to be speeding by and it feels overwhelming. My boys are so big and I think I'm at that place where I need their hugs more now than ever before. I need to know I am still needed...that I am still an integral part of their lives. Even now my emotions are so raw I can't stop the tears. I don't recall feeling such urgent emotions before, and I'm not sure urgent is even the word for it.
At any rate...
I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I feel it not. I believe in God even when He is silent. *Written on a wall in a concentration camp*
© 2012 Shannon M. King. This publication is the exclusive property of Shannon M. King and is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws. The contents of this post/story may not be reproduced as a whole or in part, by any means whatsoever, without consent of the author, Shannon M. King. All rights reserved.
2 comments:
Sorry to hear you're a bit un-nerved by life.
Those guys still love you. But, well, um, they're guys, and teens, and trying to figure out who they are. You're still their mom, and you always will be. And soon (maybe sooner than you expect) you'll be friends to each other. But they will always be your children. Been there; done that; that's the way it is.
And your husband is still the most important guy in your life.
Blessings and Bear hugs.
Oh, yes. "The solution to the problems of teenagers is about five years." ~ Anon.
Oh Shannon. I read this words and you speak to my heart.
I know we raise them to let them go, but it is so hard.
We smile and wave them off encouragingly while inside our heart is breaking into many small pieces.
Life changes when they leave.
I'm still trying to figure out what it's supposed to change to...
I wish I had an answer.
I only have a hug and a prayer of peace for your heart.
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