Okay, so it's been awhile since I have posted anything...at all. I have been taking some much needed time to deal with various issues, one of them being depression. I am beginning to feel better and having less pressure sure helps. I have been spending time with the kids, going to the library, swimming, or just hanging out...it has been so nice! It seems the more time I spend on facebook, or my blog, the more stressed I become. Largely it is because I feel pressured to fulfill some imaginary obligation I have created in my mind. It has nothing to do with anyone else putting pressure on me, it's all me.
I am toying with the idea of giving up this blog, but I don't want to make any quick decisions about that. This blog was created to be an outlet for my creativity; something I could feel accomplished about. Does that make any sense? Maybe I am just blocked and this time away will be helpful in clearing my mind. Maybe I have said all there is to say. Maybe not. I know one thing, the more time I spend away from this blog, the less I have to say...hmmm, I wonder if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
I have to face facts...I get wrapped up in facebook, this blog, t.v., and I spend less time in God's presence and in His book, and with His people. The more time I invest in other things, the less time I invest in my relationship with my Savior. So I have started to have quiet time first thing in the morning before the kids are up...that includes prayer and devotions...It is like meeting up with a friend I haven't spoken to for awhile, unsure at first but better every time it happens.
I guess I said all this to say...I'm here, I'm alive, I am somewhat broken and need more time, I will be back but I don't know when, and I miss you all...but something tells me ya'll are just fine and dandy. Blessings to each and every one of you!
I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I feel it not. I believe in God even when He is silent. *Written on a wall in a concentration camp*